The Against Taffy Sinclair Club

2007 October 21
by ihatewheat

The Taffy Sinclair books were the shit. I think because they were written in a very realistic way and really captured the kids’ feelings and what their lives were like without being condescending. Seriously, I know they are only in the fifth grade, but creating a club to terrorize one girl in their school is out of control mean. And sounds like something I would have done. (Hell, I’m the president of such a club now). I actually feel kind of bad for Taffy. It’s totally obvious that they are all jealous and Taffy has no other way to act that being mean right back. Maybe I am getting ahead of myself here.

So Jana, the narrator and Beth, Katie, Melanie, and Christie have the titular club where they sit around and bitch about Taffy (but oddly, never make fun of her name). They have secret notebooks about her. On the first day of fifth grade, Taffy shows up to school with boobs. So the plan in for the gals to also grow boobs. Beth sees an add in a women’s magazine for the Venus Milo bust developer, so they all fundraise to get the $19.95 to purchase it. Christie proposes that they call their mission Lambda Rho, which is code for Little Raisins. I didn’t understand it then, and I am not sure I understand it now. And they are afraid that Mr. Neal will find out what it means.

They do a bake sale. Melanie, the “fat” one, has a secret recipe for “gorgeous brownies”. I am just sayin’, maybe her mother shouldn’t make brownies so much. No, I am not getting down on Mel for being overweight. I am just saying her mother shouldn’t contribute her Type 2 diabetes and years of social stigma. (Later Mel befriends Taffy and Taffy teaches her how to be bulimic, so that problem is solved, don’t worry.)

Also, Jana lives with just her mom and has a deadbeat Dad. Her father promised to take her on vacation, but never did, causing awful pain for Jana. She writes him a long letter about it and all she gets is a box of chocolates. It’s pretty shitty. To compensate, she write her “how I spent my summer” essay about the vacation, making up all the adventures. The school loves it and wants to publish it. Although Taffy knows its a lie and uses it to blackmail Jana. I have to say, I was on Taffy’s side. The other gals are clearly jealous. Taffy also finds the Against Taffy Sinclair notebook and threatens to show it to Mr. Neal, their teacher that they all have a crush on. Taffy is actually really hurt about it. I feel bad for her. I feel like she is mean and bitchy probs because the gals were mean to her first after being jealous.

Jana’s mom finds the notebook and the bust developer and talks some sense into Jana. The gals decide to form a self-improvement club, which will later become the Fabulous Five series, which I thought was pretty amazing.

This time around, I totally felt bad for Taffy and wanted to smack the rude out of Jana.

35 Responses leave one →
  1. 2007 October 21
    Sarah permalink

    Taffy looks like a Wakefield twin on the front of that book. Did she was sparkling blue-green eyes the colour of the Pacific Ocean, and a perfect size six figure, as well as sun-streaked blonde hair?

  2. 2007 October 21
    Sarah permalink

    “HAVE sparkling blue-green eyes” not “was sparkling blue-eyes”. I can’t type, apparently.

  3. 2007 October 21

    Loved this book! I remembered the “Little Raisins” thing because it’s so ridiculous — and I never thought that yeah, they were bullying.

  4. 2007 October 21

    “the against taffy sinclair club” is the worst club name i’ve ever heard. why not “the anti-taffy sinclair club”? or “the taffy sinclair haters association”?

    also, all of those girls are dressed like prairie girls. was that really cool in the late 1980s?

  5. 2007 October 22

    I always remember being awkwarded out by this book because I was the only one in fifth grade to have boobs. Believe me, I didn’t want them and did everything I could to hide them.

    Team Taffy.

  6. 2007 October 22
    Robyn permalink

    Strangely, all I remember from this book is the embarrassing purple dress that Jana’s mom made her wear on the first day of school. And Taffy was wearing the same one and it emphasized her new boobs. And then Jana stuffs her dress with cotton balls and gets busted.

    And I always thought the club was a great idea since they were standing up to the mean girl in their class and nobody would ever do that to the mean girl that I went to school with. But looking back, it was pretty cruel…

  7. 2007 October 22

    I remember living vicariously through Taffy when she went out to Hollywood to do a TV pilot or a movie or something. Everyone was hella jealous of her, even out there.

  8. 2007 October 22

    I remember living vicariously through Taffy when she went out to Hollywood to do a TV pilot or a movie or something.

    Everyone was hella jealous of her, even out there.

  9. 2007 October 22

    I read these books too, and I always sympathized with Taffy a bit too. She always reminded me of Laura Danker in “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” because all the PTSes in that book constantly made fun of Laura for being more developed than they were and started rumors like she was easy. Like, it’s fine to hate someone for things under their control – like being a horrible, selfish person – but for things like your body that you can’t help? Not cool at all.

  10. 2007 October 22
    The Kuus permalink

    Team Taffy all the way!

    Is this the one where Taffy blackmails Jana into pretending to be her friend because she’s so lonely? That one always made me so sad. I was so happy when they all went to junior high and these harpies left Taffy alone, and Taffy actually ended up making friends.

  11. 2007 October 22
    Merrie permalink

    Having boobs in 5th grade sucked so much that I immediately hated any character that whined because she was flat — which really ruined ‘Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret” for me. Team Taffy all the way!

  12. 2007 October 22
    Nikki permalink

    Go Taffy! When I was in fifth grade EVERY single girl in my class banded together and formed the “We Hate Nicole Club”. I wasn’t fantastic or busty-I was fat. Heh :)

  13. 2007 October 22

    Damn Nikki! I’m sorry, you probably read SVH books, so you probably thought you deserved it.

    TEAM TAFFY!

    I’m making shirts.

  14. 2007 October 22
    paige permalink

    The only explanation for “Lambda Rho” I can think of is that those are the Greek letters for “L and R,” hence “L.R.: Little Raisins”??? Weird.

  15. 2007 October 22
    Roxie permalink

    I totally remember these books! I didn’t sympathize with Taffy, though, ’cause I was an incredibly jealous child. The best one was definitely “Taffy Sinclair, Queen of the Soaps”. I think that was the one where Jana watched too many soap operas and thought she was a twin. Haha.

  16. 2007 October 22
    Gabrielle permalink

    I have a question since I never read a Taffy Sinclair or a We Hate Taffy Sinclair book. Why did they hate Taffy Sinclair? Was she spoiled and Lila Fowler/Cokie Masonesque?

  17. 2007 October 22

    I understand what Lambda Rho stands for, it’s the little raisins=breasts analogy that I am confused about.

  18. 2007 October 23
    Renee permalink

    The little raisins thing actually made me crack up – they compared their non-boobs to raisins..at least that was my interpretation – they were all so flat they couldn’t compare it to anything but raisins. at least they had self-awareness which somehow does not exist in sweet valley world. I read these books but barely remember the Taffy ones…thanks for taking me down memory lane, ihatewheat. :)

  19. 2007 October 23
    paige permalink

    Yeah, “little raisins” is kind of gross.

  20. 2007 October 23
    WickedWonder permalink

    What I remember most about this book was the box of chocolates that Jana’s dad send sat on their kitchen table, opened, until the chocolates got dusty. (Now, I’m thinking they probably bloomed.) Then her mom threw them away. That was some drama.
    I’d probably be on Taffy’s side, especially since I was hated for being fat and boobalicious way too soon in grade school. Now, what was the one that Taffy’s diary almost was read aloud at a campfire, I wanna say?

  21. 2007 October 23

    Speaking of jealous prepubescents, I recently started a blog and Are you there God? was the book I started with. Man, I’m obsessed with YA and kids lit.

  22. 2007 October 23
    Jessa Fields permalink

    Isn’t there one where they all go to modeling school? (Even Katie, the feminist-y one who I actually liked.) I remember a part where they all had to parade down a runway (Taffy rocked it of course) and Jana forgot to suck in her stomach, which apparently was the greatest faux pas ever committed in human existence. Sigh.

    Hey, is it pronounced “Jane-a” or “Jan-a”? This used to drive me crazy. That and I thought “Pink” was the creepiest name in the world for a stepdad.

    Team Taffy.

  23. 2007 October 23
    tammyt permalink

    Re: Jane-a, Jan-a … I’m pretty sure it was pronounced “Jana” because of the book where the boys (except for kind and sensitive Randy Kirwan) tease her by calling her “Jana Banana.”

  24. 2007 October 23
    coquelicot permalink

    Taffy got teased for having boobs in 5th grade? Gee willikers, half of the girls in my class had them by then–me included. I had enough there to wear a bra in the 4th. And I was among the youngest in my class. It wasn’t even due to being overweight–in fact, I was skinny as a rail otherwise. No hating Taffy here simply based on that fact.

  25. 2007 October 24

    I just want you to know that thanks to this particular trip down memory lane, I wound up spending an hour last night editing the Wikipedia entry for the Fabulous Five.

    Also, I nominate the “Pen Pals” series if you’re looking for more ridonkulous preteen literature. There was a snobby cosmopolitan blonde girl, a punky artsy Asian girl, a tomboy with leadership tendencies, and a shy bookish girl who wore frumpy clothes and braids. Sound like another series that was dear to our 12-year-old hearts? I thought so too. Except instead of babysitting, they’re at an all-girls boarding school.

  26. 2007 October 25
    Cat permalink

    Wow, that sure brought back some memories. LOVED these books. Remember their chant? “I must, I must, I must increase my bust!”

  27. 2007 October 25

    I liked these books; I remember one I think it was called, “The Truth about Taffy Sinclair,” or something like that, which told Taffy’s side of the story.

    And the Sleepover Friends reminded me of another series I read around them, something about ballerinas. “Bad News Ballerinas?” I know there was a girl named Rocky in it. I should go dig those up and my Junior and Senior Year book series.

  28. 2007 October 26
    Jane permalink

    what i remember most about these books was how Jana had a pictur eof Randy Kirwin blown up to poster size. She kept it hidden under her poster of miss piggy and would stare at it in the glow of her night light every night.

  29. 2007 October 28
    wanderingfrog permalink

    I actually didn’t read any of these books when I was a kid because I felt so bad for Taffy just from reading the backs of the books that I didn’t think I’d be able to stand trying to see things from Jana’s point of view. I also didn’t read The Fabulous Five series because of this, and now I’m kind of sorry that I didn’t, if those books were fun and they don’t pick on Taffy in them.

    Virginia, you’re thinking of [i]Bad News Ballet[/i], a ten-book series by Jahnna N. Malcolm, a husband-and-wife writing team who also ghostwrote some of the Baby-sitters Club books. They’re extremely unrealistic from a ballet perspective, but they’re some of the funniest books I’ve ever read. I love them.

  30. 2007 October 28
    wanderingfrog permalink

    Um, I mean Bad News Ballet. Sometimes I forget whether I’m commenting on a board using UBB Code or a blog using XHTML…

  31. 2007 November 15
    Jeanna permalink

    Thanks so much for the flashback. I’d totally forgotten about Taffy Sinclair! I also loved the Pen Pals and Sleepover Friends series.

    I’ve been on a mission to find a lot of these books, but the one that’s still stumping me is a series featuring a girl with red hair named Max (short for Max….?) and her friends. I’m thinking it was also a boarding school type situation; partially because I have a vague memory of the girls moving into their suite and freaking out about the trunk with the name Max on it thinking it was a boy moving in. Ring any bells?

  32. 2007 November 15

    Yes, of course! It was the Pen Pals series which I just started reviewing! Max comes in later in the series.

  33. 2007 November 15
    Jeanna permalink

    Thank you so much. I was wondering if this was the same series! I have been searching for years to find these!!

  34. 2008 February 8
    Sexy Sadie permalink

    I could relate to Taffy because I was the early bloomer in the 5th grade and other girls were mean to me. I haven’t come across any YA novels from the point of view of the early bloomer girl, but I have plans to write a few.

  35. 2008 March 1
    lilli permalink

    Oh god i remember in the fifth grade me and me friends had a fabulous four club…..our mission was to ruin the social life of our ex friends ginny&dess….I was Jana in grade school…only less flatchested!

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